A life that no longer exists

The trauma calls to me like a friend in the night . Being lost in my head sometimes feels alright. It’s like waves crashing against the shore. The only time I feel at home is being around the rivers edge . The sunrises and sunsets are a reminder this is all you get . Memories flicker of a life you no longer get . I’m just a pipe-liner that has not found a home yet . The diesel smells and sounds of the machines. Lets me know this is where I belong. Long days no time for yourself, but thats ok for me because I haven’t got much left. On that right away with the dust and dirt is where you feel safe not hurt . The alarm clock is going off the pipeline is calling me home . I wonder often if I’m good enough for this life of mine . Love laugh live they say but honestly we work sleep and prep for the next day . Hard hats and steel toe boots paved our way . Pipeline ghost are here to stay .