Creative Force, then gone

I was born a mistake.

my father forced himself

onto my mother

she wanted to abort me

he fought her to keep me

I was born a mistake

but I realized I would create

I play music

I create prose

I create poems

I create pictures on paper

Yet, I was born a mistake

Adults don’t want to take

a stake in me

I am a mistake in their eyes

My mother married a man

I was a mistake in his eyes

he abused my mother

and myself as well

I was born a mistake

yet I decided to create

art, prose, poems

and play music others make

My three younger siblings

seemed free spirited

my mother would make

sure they would create

My mother created a garden

My brother and sister

would help make it grow

our little brother crawled

and created dirt messes

they were not born a mistake

I have been feeling suicidal

I make mistakes

I am a mistake

My mother left the father

of my three siblings

I feel more relaxed

December 4, 2013

My mother offered

me pancakes

No thank you

Hey didn’t my baby brother

look just like Thomas the Engine

December 4, 2013

He was no longer a mistake,

he was gone at the age of 14.

along with his mother.

They were murdered

by her estranged husband,

the father of her

other three children.