If You Look Too Close

Verse 1 
They see calloused hands, a steady stare
Say I play it straight, say I play fair
Bible on the dash, dust on boots
Say I stand firm, say I know truth
They say I don’t bend, don’t break, don’t fold
Just a God-fearing man doing what I’m told
They raise their glass, say I’m one of the good 
That’s the man they see, that’s understood
Pre-Chorus 
But there’s hell behind my eyes
A fight I keep locked up inside
Chorus 
If you look too close inside my head
You wouldn’t hold me that damn high
There’s crooked prayers I never said
And darker thoughts I never fight
I wear my faith like iron skin
But it rattles when the night sets in
You wouldn’t think so highly of me
If you heard the war that lives in me
Verse 2 
I still say grace, still hold the line
Still try my best most of the time
I shake hands, bite back my tongue
Act like I’ve already won
I clean up nice, I stand up straight
But I carry more than what I say
They see the man I let them see
Not all the weight that’s killing me
Pre-Chorus
I’m split right down the middle, Lord
Between my heart and what I’m for
Chorus 
If you look too close inside my head
You wouldn’t hold me that damn high
There’s crooked prayers I never said
And darker thoughts I never fight
I wear my faith like iron skin
But it rattles when the night sets in
You wouldn’t think so highly of me
If you heard the war that lives in me
Bridge 
God, I’m tired of wearing two names
One for the world, one full of shame
I don’t wanna fake this faith
I wanna mean the words I say
Give me strength where I am weak
Change the parts You see in me
Break me down, then build me true
Make my inside look like You
Chorus
If You can see inside my head
And still don’t turn Your back on me
Maybe there’s hope for a man this bent
To finally live what faith should be
I don’t wanna shine or hide
I just wanna walk the line I claim
God, give me strength day after day
Make my inside match my name

Red dirt outlaw country, (85 BPM), minor key verses, heavy chorus drop, gritty male vocal, raw emotion, spa