Preparation, for every situation, I’m constantly asking myself what my favorite characters would do, it’s a mask, when my autism’s at full staff not half staff, and coded characters carry me through.
Celeb crushes, I’m like who done it, which part of me is taking over now? When I have one, I get lost and, I just can’t find my way out.
I get too obsessed with random characters, till one day I can feel their pain, next day it’s like I have a mental illness, then here comes the shame. Trying not to be just like Heath ledger, trying to stop when it’s no longer healthy, but when I’m in the dark of night, my life be like the Dark Knight.
Writing down, in my journals, everything I’m not and wish I was, don’t like myself sometimes, and so I fully embody a character, sometimes ruining my perception of myself.
Oh my brain how, I’m insane now, working on internal family systems. All my parts are, fighting me and, I just can’t find my way out.
I get too obsessed with random characters, till one day I can feel their pain, next day it’s like I have a mental illness, then here comes the shame. Trying not to be just like Heath ledger, trying to stop when it’s no longer healthy, but when I’m in the dark of night, my life be like the Dark Knight.
I relate them to me, I relate them to my family members, I relate them to my friends, used to do it a lot more when I was younger, I hope one day it ends. This constant cycle of hating and loving myself, wanting to be me then wanting to be someone else, I prepare for the role so hard, I’ll die on that sword.
I get too obsessed with random characters, till one day I can feel their pain, next day it’s like I have a mental illness, then here comes the shame. Trying not to be just like Heath ledger, trying to stop when it’s no longer healthy, but when I’m in the dark of night, my life be like the Dark Knight.
M.A.L.C.O.L.M
