[Verse]
King of the couch, remote in my grip
Pizza box throne, I’m a grease-drippin’ drip
Socks mismatched, with the holes in the toes
Living room kingdom, crumbs where I roam
[Chorus]
I’m a certified turd, I’m a human landfill
Dirty like a gym sock marinated in spills
I’m the crown-wearin’ clown of the garbage pit
Living my best life, being a piece of shit
[Verse 2]
Dishes in the sink, stack higher than my dreams
Laundry pile mountain, sweatpants supreme
Microwave meals, gourmet in my mind
Expiration dates? Just suggestions, I find
[Bridge]
Trash panda swagger, I’m a scavenger king
Every day’s a dumpster dive, hear my anthem ring
Flies in my aura, but they buzz with respect
Messy is my mantra, filthy intellect
[Chorus]
I’m a certified turd, I’m a human landfill
Dirty like a gym sock marinated in spills
I’m the crown-wearin’ clown of the garbage pit
Living my best life, being a piece of shit
[Verse 3]
Cereal for dinner, beer for dessert
Spillin’ on my hoodie, ketchup-stained merch
Self-care routine? Ain’t got no plan
Cologne of Febreze, I’m a Renaissance man
Yeah, yeah mix it up, let’s get it rated R ass fuck, Haha… yeah back at it again, just shut up and listen, get high with me your sacks ganna come up straight missing, you’ll be dope sick pissing and shitting, yeah why me and you baby mama in the bathroom kissing young twisting sweat whispers in her ears ha! Yeah right I’m straight dissing finger flicking her stench kitten. Foil on the floor, pipes on the ground been up for six sundowns, still won’t save your grandma from taking a trip to pound town. Yeah down and dirty, in my late thirties bitches mean mugging but I’m thinking they flirting I’ll take em in shape or straight overweight shit ima a dirtbag I don’t discriminate who’s next I’ll tongue punch a retard and we’ll have stupid sex. I’ll take em tall, small hitting milfs that can’t put down the bottle of alcohol. If you ain’t had at least 3 STD’s you ain’t fucking with me. Big cheese vape so much my lungs wheeze feel like I’m 80 because I got pain in my knees yeah bitch pain in my knees gas station boner pills taking there toll on me, yes I fuck for free when I was young my moms slapped the man out of me. Grew up broke, shit I’m still broke put your girl in the pretzel while I’m choking her throat, I got 2 maybe three inches on a good day shit another love island male bombshell I might be gay, and since we speaking on that and I’m geeking but I’m speaking the facts ace hated on Jeremiah in a real way…. Shit I loved that man I must be gay…. Shit yeah I must be gay
