[Bass guitar Intro] [Verse 1] In the not-too-distant future -- Next Sunday A.D. There was a guy named, Joel Not too different from you or me He worked at Gizmonic Institute Just another face in a red jumpsuit He did a good job cleaning up the place But his bosses didn't like him So they shot him into space We'll send him cheesy movies The worst we can find (la-la-la) He'll have to sit and watch them all And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la) Now keep in mind Joel can't control Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la) Because he used those special parts To make his robot friends Robot Roll Call: (All right, let's go!) Cambot! (Pan left!) Gypsy! (Hi, girl!) Tom Servo! (What a cool guy!) Croooow! (He's a wisecracker.) If you're wondering how he eats and breathes And other science facts (la la la) Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show I should really just relax For Mystery Science Theater 3000 [Electric piano] [Verse 2] In the not-too-distant future Somewhere in time and space Mike Nelson and his robot pals Are caught in an endless chase! Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl An evil gal who wants to rule the world She threw a few things in her purse And in her rocketship she hunts him all across the universe! (I'll...get...you!) I'll send him cheesy movies! The worst I can find! (la la la) He'll have to sit and watch them all And I'll monitor his mind! (la la la) Now keep in mind Mike can't control Where the movies begin or end (la la la) He'll try to keep his sanity With the help of his robot friends! Robot Roll Call Cambot! (You're on!) Gypsy! (Oh, my stars!) Tom Servo! (Check me out!) Crooooow! (I'm different!) If you're wondering how he eats and breathes And other science facts (la la la) Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show I should really just relax" For Mystery Science Theater 3000 [Electric piano solo] [Verse 3] In the not-too-distant future Next Sunday, AD There was a guy named Jonah Not too different from you or me He worked at Gizmonic Institute Just another mug in a yellow jumpsuit [Jonah] Hello? Hello! What the heck? A distress call came in for him at half-past noon That's when an evil woman trapped him on the dark side of the moon I'll send him cheesy movies The worst I can find (la la la) He'll have to sit and watch them all And we'll monitor his mind (la la la) Now keep in mind that Jonah can't control When the movies begin or end So he'll have to keep his sanity With the help of his robot friends Robot Roll Call Cambot! Gypsy! Tom Servo! Crooooow! If you're wondering how he eats and breathes And other science facts (la la la) Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show I should really just relax" For Mystery Science Theater 3000! [Synth outro]

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