“Mike and His Urban Dictionary”

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Verse 1

Mike starts casual, says he knows the Eiffel Tower,

Claims he learned it young, thought it gave him superpower.

He grins like it’s wisdom, but I can’t understand,

How the birds and the bees turned into something so damned.

Chorus

Oh Mike, oh Mike, you’ve gone too far again,

With your stories from the gutter and a crooked little grin.

We laugh ’til we’re sick, then we gag a little too,

When Mike brings the Urban Dictionary into view.

Verse 2

He brags about the Sanchez, like it’s family lore,

I’m choking on my drink, can’t take this anymore.

He paints the whole picture, like a late-night show,

I’m throwing up in my mouth while he’s putting on a glow.

Verse 3 (Instagram + Scooby-Doo)

Now he’s scrolling through my sister’s page, liking every post,

Talking ’bout her selfies like he’s seen a holy ghost.

Then he laughs like Scooby-Doo, makes us all just groan,

He’s a cartoon in the corner, but we wish he’d stay at home.

Chorus

Oh Mike, oh Mike, you’ve gone too far again,

With your stories from the gutter and a crooked little grin.

We laugh ’til we’re sick, then we gag a little too,

When Mike brings the Urban Dictionary into view.

Bridge

He’s a prophet of the perverse, a preacher of the crude,

Turns Sunday school into something real lewd.

We beg him to stop, but he’s already begun,

Mike’s education is nobody’s fun.

Final Chorus

Oh Mike, oh Mike, we’ll never learn the same,

Every bedtime story now just feels insane.

We laugh ’til we cry, but here’s the bitter truth—

The Urban Dictionary’s the gospel of Mike’s youth.

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