I still keep you in my contacts just to prove you were the one
First name I would call at night, first text when the day was done
Now my phone don’t light the same, just a silence I can’t shake
You warned me this would happen if I didn’t learn to change
I heard the words but didn’t feel them, didn’t take them to my heart
I was lost inside my head, didn’t think I deserved your part
You gave love I couldn’t hold, I was numb, I was afraid
Didn’t see it then, but now I see the price I let me pay
Patterns from the past came back, I swore I’d never be that kid
But the same little boy showed up, scared, not knowing what to give
Hiding in the corners of the man I tried to be
Running from the truth, pretending I was free
Spent a decade going nowhere, spiraling in circles down
Drinking just to quiet things I never talked about
All the chaos, all the noise, all the damage I ignored
Just a mask to hide the pain I never healed before
I never wanted it to end this way
I never meant to push your love away
It took losing you to finally see
How much you gave, how much you believed in me
Now every quiet moment say your name
Every memory hit me the same
I was blind when you were right there
Now I’m standing in the space you left
You tried to save me from myself
I couldn’t see past my own hell
If I could go back, I’d stay
But I learned too late, yeah I learned too late
I keep you in my contacts still
Like a reminder of what was real
First call, first text, first place I felt safe
Now it’s echoes where your voice used to stay
I never wanted it to end this way
But it took losing you to know
How much you loved me
How much you loved me