**[Intro – spoken / deadpan]**
Why.
Why is this here.
Who asked for this.
Who authorized starch.
---
**[Verse 1 – manic, stop-start]**
I pulled up for a four-for-four
Red lights screaming, floor is gore
Menu glowing like a crime scene
Square burgers, fine, that tracks, I mean—
Frosty? Cool.
Nuggets? Lawful.
But then my eyes fell off the wall and
**WHY IS THERE A BAKED POTATO**
SITTING NEXT TO A BACON ATOR
WHO SAID “YES, THIS MAKES SENSE”
WHO LET IRELAND IN THE DRIVE-THRU LANE
---
**[Pre-Chorus – shouted]**
This is fast food
Not a parish
Not a famine
Not a garnish
---
**[Chorus – explode]**
WHY THE FUCK
DOES WENDY’S
SELL
BAKED
POTATOES
WRAPPED IN FOIL
LIKE A HOSTAGE
LIKE A PROMISE
I DIDN’T ASK FOR
I CAME FOR GREASE
I CAME FOR MEAT
NOT A VEGETABLE
WITH SELF-ESTEEM
---
**[Verse 2 – hyper / glitch]**
Sour cream packet, sealed like evidence
Chives looking smug, unearned confidence
This potato’s been through something
Microwaved trauma, butter coping
Sir, this is a Wendy’s—
NO IT ISN’T
IT’S A THERAPY SESSION
FOR A TUBER WITH ISSUES
---
**[Breakdown – mathy, stuttered]**
Baked—
Potatoes
(bakedbakedbakedbaked)
WHY
(bzz—cut—go)
WHY
---
**[Bridge – faux-intellectual]**
Is it balance?
Is it irony?
Is it Ohio nihilism quietly judging me?
Am I supposed to grow here?
Reflect?
Heal?
I’M EATING IN MY CAR
---
**[Final Chorus – bigger, faster, dumber]**
WHY THE FUCK
DOES WENDY’S
SELL
BAKED
POTATOES
NEXT TO FRIES
THAT ARE ALREADY
POTATOES
BUT WORSE EDUCATED
THIS IS A LOOP
THIS IS A JOKE
THIS IS A ROOT
THAT LOST ALL HOPE
---
**[Outro – whispered / exhausted]**
I still ordered it.
I ate the whole thing.
It was…
Fine.
(which makes it worse.)
extra_unbearable
