Daylight Saving Garlic Breath

I woke up feelin’ fine, stretched with a yawn so wide,
Clock said seven-thirty—plenty of time for a lazy ride.
Whipped up garlic butter pizza for breakfast, done just right,
Munched it down, breath kickin’ strong, what a tasty bite!
Stood at the sink, toothpaste ready, but somethin’ felt all wrong.
Glanced at my phone—wait, why’s the time say eight-fifteen?
Daylight savings! Forgot to fall back—now I’m runnin’ late!
No time to brush—garlic pizza teeth sealed my fate!
Rushed to the office with murder breath, wild and unchained,
Boss yelled “You’re late!” then gagged hard—“Did you eat a garlic farm?!”
Pants backwards, fly half-zipped, but nobody cared about that,
My time-change breath cleared the room faster than a hazmat!
Computer clock wrong, emailed the team the bad time,
Spoke in the hall—folks scattered like it was a crime.
Microwaved old fish for lunch—double garlic-tuna despair,
Whole floor reeked, colleagues sprayin’ air freshener in the air!
Afternoon alarm blasted for the old zone,
Team laughin’ through tears, holdin’ noses all alone.
Drove to the bank an hour too soon, teller slammed the glass,
Gas station guy gagged and tossed mints—“Wear a mask, man, fast!”
Got home, burned dinner on the wrong time setting,
Waved at neighbor’s dog thinkin’ it was my wife—big regretting!
[West Coast Zoom Disaster]
Boss texts me don’t forget to call Portland
I threw on my work shirt again ready to begin,
West Coast team! Leaned in with garlic-tuna fire anew.
They recoiled screaming—“Dude, is your mic on fire?!”
One sprayed Febreze at his screen, another yelled “Hazmat, retire!”
Boss texted: “Brush next time or stay offline, please!”
My bad breath went viral—time-change legend with zero ease!
Next year I’ll set reminders taped to my head and phone,
But today I’m the king of unbrushed garlic breath and daylight savings zone!
(Chorus – Chaos Edition)
Oh daylight savings, you chaotic rotten thief!
Stole my hour and unleashed garlic grief!
Pizza blast realized too late at the sink,
Spewin’ murder breath makin’ strong men rethink!
Wrong meetings, bank lines, burned dinners, Zoom gags galore—
Office, bank, kitchen, West Coast—all beggin’ for air… and more!

Comedic, male vocals, soft pop, sad trombone, calm percussion