Untitled

I wake up choking on the same dream again

Fists in the sheets, teeth in my skin

There’s a hallway in my head that never ends

Every door leads back to this bed

Cold sweat, wide eyes

I’m buried awake

Every second drips heavier

How much more can I take?

⸻

My thoughts keep circling the drain

I try to scream but nothing breaks

If this is living, tell me how

I’ve been underwater since the sound went out

⸻

DROWNING IN MY HEAD

I’M STILL HERE, I’M STILL AWAKE

I’M NOT FALLING APART

I’M JUST SINKING EVERY DAY

⸻

I’ve seen the corpse of my own mother

I was standing there, I couldn’t move

Her skin was cold, her eyes were open

And there was nothing I could do

There was no warning, no last sentence

No meaning hiding in the scene

Just a room that wouldn’t move

And the sound of me trying to breathe

⸻

My pulse is pounding in my ears

Like a threat I never hear

I keep swallowing the pain

Calling it rest, calling it safe

⸻

DROWNING IN MY HEAD

AND I CAN’T SLOW IT DOWN

EVERY THOUGHT COMES HEAVY

AND IT WON’T LET ME OUT

DROWNING IN MY HEAD

I’M STILL HERE, I’M STILL AWAKE

I’M NOT FALLING APART

I’M JUST SINKING EVERY DAY

⸻

LET ME OUT OF MY HEAD

LET ME OUT OF THIS SKIN

EVERY THOUGHT IS A WEIGHT

EVERY BREATH CAVES IN

I CAN’T TELL WHERE I END

AND THE PANIC BEGINS

I’M NOT SCARED OF THE END

I’M SCARED THIS NEVER ENDS

⸻

There was no warning, no last sentence

No meaning hiding in the scene

Just the start of everything breaking

And me standing there

Between before and after

Between who I was and what’s left

Between holding it together

And learning how to live with this

⸻

I’M DROWNING IN MY HEAD

AND IT WON’T LET ME GO

EVERY NIGHT I TREAD

WATER DEEPER THAN BEFORE

I’M NOT DEAD YET

BUT I’M WEARING THIN

I’M STILL STANDING HERE

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN