Never The Same

NEVER THE SAME

I don’t cry anymore.

I don’t scream anymore.

I don’t break anymore.

The strange thing is…

I think that’s worse.

Because the pain never left.

I just became part of it.

Three years later and your ghost still knows my name,

Still walks these halls and still sleeps inside my brain.

I burned the pictures,

Deleted every trace,

But somehow every road still leads me to your face.

You promised forever with your hand inside mine,

Swore we’d survive the darkness and outrun the night.

But forever lasted less than a season,

And I spent years searching for a reason.

Every lie was wrapped in “I love you.”

Every betrayal dressed up as the truth.

You kissed me while destroying everything we built,

Then left me drowning underneath the guilt.

I blamed myself.

I blamed my heart.

I blamed every second from the start.

Now I stare at the ceiling,

Waiting for a feeling.

Anything.

Something.

Because silence is louder than your memory.

It doesn’t hurt anymore.

I think that’s what scares me.

The knife is still inside my chest,

I just stopped feeling where it used to be.

I’m never the same.

Never the same.

You took pieces I can’t replace.

And now I wear this hollow heart

Like a grave beneath my skin.

Everyone says time heals everything,

But time only taught me how to bleed quietly.

Taught me how to smile when I’m falling apart,

How to carry a cemetery inside my heart.

I’ve met new faces.

Heard new names.

But every connection feels the same.

I keep waiting for the spark,

Waiting for the light,

Waiting for somebody to make this darkness feel less like home at night.

But nobody is you.

And maybe that’s the problem.

Maybe that’s the curse.

Maybe loving you was the best thing that ever happened—

And the worst.

I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!

EVERY SCAR!

EVERY DREAM!

EVERY PART OF ME THAT STILL BELIEVED!

AND YOU THREW IT AWAY!

LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!

LIKE I WAS NOTHING!

BLEGH!

The cheating wasn’t even what destroyed me.

It was how easily you looked through me.

Like I never mattered.

Like I never existed.

Like all those promises were already dead

Long before you admitted it.

I remember the nights we planned our future.

The house.

The family.

The life.

Now those memories feel like horror movies

Playing on repeat every night.

The same scenes.

The same ending.

The same knife.

And every year that passes

Makes me realize something.

I survived.

But survival isn’t the same thing as healing.

It doesn’t hurt anymore.

Not like before.

Now it’s just an empty room

Behind a locked door.

I’m never the same.

Never the same.

The fire died,

But the ashes remain.

I learned to breathe again.

I learned to stand again.

But I never learned how to become

The person I was before you.

Black roses growing through concrete cracks.

Moonlight hanging over broken glass.

I walk alone beneath dead stars,

Carrying wounds nobody sees