I am a name

The air between us
a thin,   quite 

snapping.  on opposite shores 
of a shallow, sun-dappled stream, 
able to see the curve of the other's smile, 
the  thought crossing the eyes, 
the crossing never happened. 
 The lies you stood on  carried a secret weight, 
 The name never fully spoke aloud, 
 as one of the same as whom you know
Of these lies you speak of
Those silent rooms that were never yours
My presents of truth
 the expectation, I await
The  heavy tapestry woven by 
deceitful corrupters
The demanding shape
 I couldn't quite hold, 
only to find the  bending. 
Of the insecurities believing these 
Lies and rumors 
Somehow seemed
Better to help you have an accomplishment and you move on with your own insecurities or accomplishments 
Within myself I'm secure
Your ego is aregence is a regret of your a fuck up consistently showing everybody of this insecurity of my greatness to humiliate of a good individual 
with a different kind of gravity, 
anchored my family firmly down under water
where potential of well being was to any 
Of our presents
In this sense of intentional given  accomplishment
You remained perpetually empty still you do
Touch with the unspoken judgment, 
the certainty that I was somehow flawed, 
misplaced, wrongly accused of a silence 
that was really just 
But your fear of shattering your accomplishments 
The words, a tangled skein, caught in the confrontation you can't commit 
becoming knots instead of bridges. 
Eachall y'all can't plea your confession 
a safe retreat to saver the bond we had within each other Now, I watch your trajectory,
We could  move forward easily, 
shedding the  hesitant past thoughts
like old, unwanted skin I'm here,we here
There is no backward glance meant for us
Less to reminisce bout negatives more bout 
What we built to get here today
 settle into the quiet cause you already know, persistent drip of (the fuck you talked bout )
what never bloomed. 
Weariness sits in the scumbags minds 
Resignation is a soft blanket, 
heavy but strangely comforting. 
the simple noise of my own room, 
the unspectacled reality of the four walls, 
where names don't haunt
remain 
I am a name
the tide that pulls back, 
replay of those near misses, 
the conversations edited not 
 they couldn't begin to smutten
 On my name
The heavy weight 
of what might have been
 presses down, from another's darkness
constant ache of them for more to feel the same darkness of an unread,
manuscript, someone neglected just to be 
left forever on a shelf, waiting for a reader 
who chose another story.
My own right here ,where you choose not to be
But to 
smutten on Me
I am a name
I am
Me

rap, trap soul trap 808