( Verse 1)
Twelve steps forward, ten back in the flames
I pour out the liquor, but it still knows my name
My hands shake with guilt, heart heavy with rust
Tryna breathe clean air, but the smoke’s in my lungs
I see her eyes in my dreams, soft like a prayer
But love don’t live where these shadows still stare
She said, “Come home, baby, fight through the fire,”
But the devil sits close, strokin’ wires on the lyre
He hums me a tune full of violence and sin
And the demon beside him just smiles with a grin
“You can fake it in church, wear a mask to the crowd,
But we know what you are — and we’re never backing down.”
(Hook)
I got blood on my soul, and a voice in my ear
Telling me to kill, whisperin’, “Let ‘em all fear.”
I just wanna be clean, find peace in her touch
But this dark love inside me is twistin’ too much
Holdin’ on to hope with a blade in my palm
Tryna silence the screams with the calm of a psalm
But the devil got rhythm, and the demon got drums
And they play every night ‘til the madness comes
(Verse 2)
She said, “You’re not a monster, you’re just broken and bruised,”
But she ain’t heard the voices that I listen to
They don’t beg for forgiveness, they don’t ask for no peace
They just show me the path to the belly of the beast
Every shot I don’t take is a war in my brain
Every bottle I drop is like drivin’ through rain
I crave her light, but I live in the dark
Where the trigger’s a lullaby and death is the spark
I ain’t scared of dyin’ — I’m scared I might like it
I ain’t scared of the pain — I’m scared I might write it
On someone’s back, in red, in a moment of rage
While the devil slow dances at the edge of my cage
(Hook)
I got blood on my soul, and a voice in my ear
Telling me to kill, whisperin’, “Let ‘em all fear.”
I just wanna be clean, find peace in her touch
But this dark love inside me is twistin’ too much
Holdin’ on to hope with a blade in my palm
Tryna silence the screams with the calm of a psalm
But the devil got rhythm, and the demon got drums
And they play every night ‘til the madness comes
(Bridge – Spoken/Rapped)
Every pill I refuse is a funeral bell
Every prayer I whisper gets drowned out in hell
They dress up my trauma, they toast to my grief
While I’m on one knee beggin’ God for relief
(Final Hook – Half sung, half screamed)
I got blood on my soul, and the past in my skin
Beggin’ for light, but I’m wearin’ my sin
I still dream of her kiss, of a dawn without pain
But the demon still sings in the back of my brain
Holdin’ on to hope with a blade in my palm
Tryna silence the screams with the calm of a psalm
But the devil got rhythm, and the demon got drums
And they play every night ‘til the madness comes
(Outro – Whispered)
I just wanna be clean…
But they don’t want me sober.
They want me cold.