Don’t Be A Lyin’ Switching B*TCH This Christmas

🔥 “Don’t Be a Lyin’, Switchin’ Shugafoot This Christmas”

🎶 CHORUS ( Hip, Relevant, Petty)

Don’t be a lyin’, switchin’ Shugafoot this Christmas,

Don’t pop up actin’ healed when you still talkin’ slick…miss.

Don’t jingle in my messages with that recycled script—

I can smell a December lie through a fresh peppermint.

⸻

🎶 VERSE 1 (Real, Relatable, Urban Holiday Energy):

You blowin’ up my phone like you the ghost of Christmas past,

Sayin’ “I miss you,” but baby that phase don’t last.

New month, same lies — you ain’t changed nothin’,

Still tryna slide back like you ain’t done nothin’

I’m in my robe, edges laid, cocoa thick, attitude thicker—

And here you come with them “Let me see you” pictures.

I’m unbothered, unfazed, unwrapping my peace,

Return to sender — your whole vibe irritating me.

⸻

🎶 VERSE 2 (Crystal dragging with class):

Don’t talk consistency but switch up by noon,

Don’t act brand-new just ‘cause it’s cuffing-season soon.

If loyalty was a light, babe, yours stay flickering—

I’m not your holiday hobby, or your wintertime pick-again.

You say “I’ve grown,” but them actions still childish,

You’re a December disappointment with a side of wild-shit

And I refuse to let your mess stress my curl pattern—

It’s a holiday, not a healing camp, I’m not your next chapter.

⸻

🎶 BRIDGE (Crystal’s signature monologue — sharp but hilarious):

Listen…

If you can’t match ya mouth with ya movements?

Take that Shugafoot spirit over to somebody else’s chimney.

Santa don’t do switch-ups, and neither do I.

Ho-ho-hold THIS L.

⸻

🎶 OUTRO (snatched, glamorous):

So don’t be a Shugafoot talking about

Baby be my shugaplum tonight

I don’t need no Shugafoot

Not today, not for life

And NOT under no twinkle lights.

Merry Christmas, baby… from a woman who SEES you as the lying switching bitch you are.

CHORUS (PART II – ADDITION):

Don’t be a flip-floppin’ Frosty when the truth get cold,

Don’t say you steady when your loyalty’s on hold.

Don’t sleigh-ride back just ‘cause the streets got thin—

My peace ain’t a porch light you can wander in.

SERMONETTE:

Let me tell you something…

The holidays are stressful enough

without somebody’s unstable son

tryin’ to do a Christmas comeback tour

in your DMs at 2 a.m.

They don’t miss you

They miss access

They miss benefits

They miss that good lovin’

But baby, this ain’t charity

I’m not takin’ in no immature projects this year.

🎶 NEW EXTENDED BRIDGE (Adds Soul + Edge)

BRIDGE (EXTENDED):

If you can’t keep your word from here on out

If every plan with you gotta come with sneaky links & clout

Then baby, this ain’t mistletoe season…

it’s MOVIN’-ALONG season.

Your inconsistency is louder than the lies you tell

and I’m better than bare minimum

so you can take a slow train to hell

Outro

So tie up them loose lies,

Put a bow on all the bullshit up,

and walk it right back out the door it came in.

‘Cause THIS Christmas?

I’m only accepting gifts, honesty, and grown man energy—

and ho ho ho you ain’t bringin’ neither.