Feels so good hurts so bad.

“Feels So Good, Hurts So Bad”

Yeah…

First love cut the deepest.

Sixteen… I was just a kid.

But I gave you everything.

⸻

Sixteen when I first jumped in your ride,

Passenger seat, young love, stars in my eyes.

Thought you were forever, thought you were fate,

Didn’t see the red flags hiding behind the sweet face.

Seventeen, holding our baby girl tight,

Still a child myself but I stepped up to life.

While my friends worried you were playing games.

I was learning how to soothe cries and shoulder the pain.

Twenty years old, our baby boy came.

Two little heartbeats carrying our name.

I was building a home, you were planning an escape,

I was praying for us, you were planning your break.

Loved you with a heart that was pure and blind,

Ignored every warning screaming in my mind.

Now I replay them nights when my chest felt tight,

That gut feeling whispering, something wasn’t right.

⸻

You’d ask me why I seemed so distant,

Why I looked sad, acting different.

Baby it was just my intuition,

My soul felt the shift in your position.

⸻

Love feels so good, then it hurts so bad,

Feels so good, then it hurts so bad.

In the moment it’s heaven you never had,

Then it falls apart and it hurts so bad.

Forever in your arms don’t ever last,

One minute we’re flying, next minute we crash.

Love feels so good, then it hurts so bad…

Feels so good, then it hurts so bad.

⸻

2022, you vanished like smoke,

No goodbye then no words you spoke.

In time You married another woman, gave her your vows,

Years went by with that ring in my hand,

Promises made but no wedding plans.

I wore hope like a diamond on my finger,

But forever kept getting pushed back further.

And when I lashed out, you pointed the blame,

Called me crazy, said Ive changed.

you never once owned the hurt you caused,

Never looked in the mirror at your own damn flaws.

You’d take my love, my time, my peace,

Take my loyalty piece by piece.

But what did you give to this family tree?

Two kids and responsibility fallen left just on me.

I was holding us down while you held me back,

Carried the weight while you cut the slack.

Every time I broke from the pressure inside, knowing how many tears I’ve cried.

You’d say I was the problem, never asking why.

How you build a new life and just move on fast,

Like your daughter and son are part of the past?

First love, yeah, it left a scar,

Turned my soft heart battle hard.

That ring meant nothing in the end,

Just a circle of lies I couldn’t mend.

⸻

You’d ask me why I seemed so miserable,

Like I wasn’t happy, wasn’t comfortable.

It was the fear I couldn’t explain,

That one day you’d cause this pain.

⸻

Love feels so good, then it hurts so bad,

Feels so good, then it hurts so bad.

In the moment it’s heaven you never had,

Then it falls apart and it hurts so bad.

So bad it hurts so bad.