[Verse 1]
Alarm in the dark
Head full of storms I can’t park
Coffee and quiet
Tie on a mask for the day
Clock in
“I’m fine”
Laugh at the right little lines
But under the emails
I’m just trying to breathe my way
[Chorus]
I feel far
But I’m fighting
Every mile in my mind I keep driving
When I walk through that door
And they run to my arms
I’m not whole
But I’m trying
To be here in this house
Not just surviving
If love is a war
I’m still guarding this yard
Far
But fighting
[Verse 2]
Traffic and thoughts
Every red light
Every “what if”
Anger like sparks
On the floorboard right by my feet
Then porch light
Front yard
Little shoes kicked off by the door
Her eyes say
“You’re home”
My chest says
“Don’t fall back asleep”
[Chorus]
I feel far
But I’m fighting
Every mile in my mind I keep driving
When I sit on the floor
And they climb on my heart
I’m not whole
But I’m trying
To stay here in the now
Not just surviving
If love is a war
I’m still guarding this yard
Far
But fighting
[Bridge]
Some days I’m a shadow at the dinner table
Fork in my hand but my head in the cable news
Then my son draws a picture of “My hero
My daddy”
And it looks
So much braver
Than I ever do (oh)
[Chorus]
I feel far
But I’m fighting
Every mile in my mind I keep driving
When I lay in the dark
With her hand on my heart
I’m not whole
But I’m trying
Every breath is a small act of defying
This ache and the fog
For this family I guard
Far
But fighting
Far
But fighting