Cigarettes in the snow

I’m feeling weak. I’m feeling slow. I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel right. I wake up the next morning. I feel OK I feel right. I feel great. My mind is twisted. It’s a sick game. How do I come to my senses? Do I even know who I became? My mind is crazy, always feeling ugly and dizzy this life is tough How do I fight through emotions? I thought you were cool, but you were always a fool. I put myself.  Put everyone first I sit in my room every night feeling good feeling glad just to feel like it was a lie everything in my emotions feel like they’re pushed to the side can’t fucking feel like this anymore. My anger is out of control. I feel like. Everything is a show while I’m smoking a cigarette in the snow, cold and warm but never can pick one so I’m outside smoking a pack freezing contemplating every day