S letter

Got me shaking from the stress

Every single hour, panic crushing on my chest

I try to open up but my voice is already gone

Staring at the water drifting underneath the bridge, mind dragging me to places that I've never been.

If I dissappear please don't cry

Just know deep down that I tried

I couldn't carry this alone

And not a single person picked up the phone

Staring at the river got this feeling in my chest

If I just jump it'll handle the rest

Suffocating deep beneath the waves

All the anxiety just washed away

Now I'm feeling numb and not alone

I can sense a place that feels like home

Open up my eyes, IM PARALYZED back in my bed. I wish I were dead

If I dissappear please don't cry

Just know deep down that I tried

I couldn't carry this alone

And not a single person picked up the phone

I can't keep trying i can't keep fighting

Open wounds and bullet holes

Walk around and no one knows

That deep inside I want to die

All I wanna do is touch the sky

Please don't cry when I die

I know this will hurt my mom

21 years and her baby's gone

I keep replaying every moment in my head

When I lay down in bed

And all I hear is static in my skull

Like the world moved on

And left me buffering alone

And the nights keep getting quieter

But somehow they’re the loudest place I know

Every memory hits like broken glass

Cutting deeper than I show

I reach for someone’s warmth

But all I feel is distance in my chest

So If I dissappear please don't cry

Just know deep down that I tried

I couldn't carry this alone

And not a single person picked up the phone

If there’s a reason I’m still here

It’s buried somewhere far from here

My hands are raw, my voice is gone

It's not like anyone would notice I'm not me at all

And no one’s looking anyway

When i disappear don’t pretend to care

Don’t paint me into some saint

I was just tired

Tired and small and worn out

So let the river take me down

Let the water make me drown

I’m still here on borrowed time

I guess this world was just not mine