Root / Awakening

Verse 1 — Root / Awakening]

When I opened my eyes, I was breathing for the first time

My lungs were full of color and my bones were humming lines

Every blade of grass was laughing, every ant knew my name

And I thought, “Maybe God is just a very old game.”

I could feel my heartbeat like a drum beneath the dirt

And every hurt I’d ever known sang back in reverse

All my memories were melting into puddles on my tongue

And I swallowed all my childhood till the taste was gone

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Then I felt the rivers moving where my stomach used to sleep

The serpents woke and started spinning galaxies in me

They whispered, “Child, you’ve never died — you’ve only ever dreamed.”

And I said, “That’s fair, but I still don’t know what it means.”

My shadow split in two and told me, “Meet your better half.”

We danced beneath a halo made of photographs

My laughter filled the ether like a candle in a jar

And I floated through my body like a rental car

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Then I saw the sun inside me, burning clean and gold

Every secret I had buried just dissolved and told

All the faces I’d collected from the years that I’d ignored

Were angels in disguise, pretending to be bored

And the ego — oh, that bastard — he was sitting on a throne

Counting all the versions of himself he’d ever owned

He said, “Welcome to the kingdom, but the rent is self-belief.”

And when I tried to pay him, all my truths fell through my teeth

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I saw love unzipped from atoms, poured itself through time

Wrapped its arms around the ruins, whispered, “You are mine.”

I forgave every villain, every saint, and every fool

Then I looked into the mirror and forgave that one too

The walls began to shimmer like a song inside a lung

And everything that ever was became a single hum

For one small, golden second I was nothing but the air

Then I thought, “How beautiful,” and wasn’t anywhere

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I tried to speak the language that the cosmos taught to me

But the syllables were light, and the grammar was a sea

Every word I formed collapsed back into sound

Like trying to describe a circle while your body’s spinning round

I laughed until I cried, then I cried until I split

And my tears became the alphabet of what I almost get

I told the sky my secret: “I finally see the plan.”

The sky replied, “Congratulations — now you’re just a man.”

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And that’s when it hit me — that flash of self again

The watcher behind watching, trying to comprehend

The snake ate its own tail, and the light began to fade

And the I that had been infinite fell back into its cage

My chakras dimmed like motel signs, one by one by one

The thousand-petal lotus closed and swallowed up the sun

I woke up on my carpet, face against the floor

Still high enough to swear I’d seen the truth —

but not enough to know what for

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Now I make my coffee, watch the sunlight on the wall

Still hear that cosmic