Verse 1)
I've got the box, it's on the floor, the diagram is in my hand
A thousand pieces, maybe more, this wasn't in the master plan
They said it's simple, "one-man job," a couple hours, maybe three
But now the sun is going down and this thing's mocking me
I swear that screw hole isn't right, this wooden dowel must be a joke
I'm losing my last shred of light, my building spirit's going broke
(Chorus)
I think I need shelf!
This whole room's drowning in itself
It's sinking in, I can't pretend
That I ain't been through IKEA hell
I think I need shelf!
This Allen key is messing with my health!
It's just a frame, it's all the same
Why can't I build this stupid shelf?!
(Verse 2)
I'm reading step four, then step ten, the pictures don't make any sense
Is this a side piece? Where's 'Part F'? The tension's getting too intense
My knuckles white, my patience thin, I'm pretty sure I've bent this board
There's no way this is gonna fit, a truth that cannot be ignored
I'm blaming you, you're blaming me, for buying this monstrosity
We just a wanted place for books, not this domestic tragedy
(Chorus)
I think I need shelf!
This whole room's drowning in itself
It's sinking in, I can't pretend
That I ain't been through IKEA hell
I think I need shelf!
This Allen key is messing with my health!
It's just a frame, it's all the same
Why can't I build this stupid shelf?!
(Bridge)
'Cause I'm cut deep, my pride won't speak
Deep down low, the varnish reeks
If I wanna throw this out today
I've got so much I need to pay
(I've got so much I need to pay!)
(Chorus)
I think I need shelf!
This whole room's drowning in itself
It's sinking in, I can't pretend
That I ain't been through IKEA hell
I think I need shelf!
This Allen key is messing with my health!
It's just a frame, it's all the same
Why can't I build this stupid shelf?!
(Outro)
Why can't I build this stupid shelf?!
I should have paid for some help!
This thing is never gonna stand!
A million pieces in my hand!