[Verse 1]
I got a lifted truck, with a rainbow flag… bumper sticker
I wrestle shirtless with my buddies, we just bond a little quicker
I got a soft spot for George Strait… and George Clooney’s face
But that don’t mean a thing, I still win the chili cookoff race
⸻
[Chorus]
I ain’t gay, I just like musicals and skincare
Ain’t queer, I just cuddle with the guys at the county fair
I two-step with Tyler, ‘cause he leads real smooth
But I’m strictly straight, just admirin’ the groove
So don’t get confused if my boots sparkle bright—
I ain’t gay, I just do gay things right
⸻
[Verse 2]
I went to pride to support my cousin Dan
Left with glitter in my beard and a tan from a leather-clad man
Yeah, I joined a yoga class ‘cause the vibes felt serene
Now I own more leggings than my ex, Jolene
⸻
[Chorus]
I ain’t gay, I just brunch with Chad and Ray
Mimosas flowin’ while we gossip the pain away
Yeah, I watch Drag Race but it’s just for the drama
And I only cried twice during Call Me By Your Name, I promise
I got strong wrists but a straighter heart—
I ain’t gay, just got some flamboyant parts
⸻
[Bridge]
So if I compliment your outfit, don’t go gettin’ nervous
It’s not flirtin’, it’s just Southern hospitality service
And if my playlist’s full of Cher, don’t you dare
Judge a cowboy by the rhinestones he wears
⸻
[Final Chorus]
I ain’t gay, just a cowboy with flair
Ain’t queer, just got highlights in my hair
Yeah I kissed a guy once, it was just on a dare
Or maybe twice… but the lighting wasn’t fair
So tip your hat, and don’t mistake my tight jeans for signs—
I ain’t gay, I just cross a few lines
⸻
[Outro – Spoken]
Now excuse me while I go line-dance…
To Lady Gaga.