I’m learning how to say your name
Like it don’t echo in my chest
Like it don’t pull me back again
To everything we never left
I met someone with kinder hands
No storms behind the way they speak
But loving them feels like I’m lying
To a heart that’s still on you and me. I’m unlearning all your shadows
The way I shrank to fit your storms
Trying on a life without you
But it don’t feel like home. I’m moving on, but I’m not ready
Still got your voice inside my head
I’m building all the dreams you told me
Just without you in my bed
I go to school, I chase the future
You said we’d have when we were young
But every step I take without you
Feels like something’s come undone
I’m holding on, I should let go
But I don’t know if I can
‘Cause if I let go of forever
It’ll never be us again. Your dog still sleeps on your side
I never moved his favorite place
He looks for you in every doorway
And I swear I do the same
You text me like it’s nothing changed
Like we’re still somewhere in between
I never send the first “hello”
But I answer every time you reach. I tell myself I’m getting stronger
I’m someone you would never know
But every little update I post
I hope somehow it shows. I’m moving on, but I’m not ready
Still got your ghost inside my skin
I’m learning love without the chaos
But I don’t know where to begin
I’m chasing all the things we dreamed of
Every city, every plan
But it don’t feel like what we wanted
If you’re not there holding my hand
I’m holding on, I should let go
But I don’t know if I can
‘Cause if I let go of forever
It’ll never be us again. And maybe one day you’ll see me
Different than I used to be
Not the girl who broke in silence
Not the one you couldn’t keep
Maybe we were just a lesson
Or a love that came too soon
But I still write you in my future
Even when I shouldn’t do. I’m moving on, but I’m not ready
Still got your name in every plan
I found someone who treats me better
But I still compare their hands
I’m building everything without you
But it’s everything we said
And I don’t know if I’m healing
Or just learning how to pretend
I’m holding on, I should let go
But I don’t know if I can
‘Cause if I let go of forever…
It’ll never be us again. So I’ll keep going like I mean it
Even if my heart won’t mend
Learning how to live without you
While still loving you…
Just a little less again