sun-soaked arizona days, my laugh painted even the most barren rooms.
Indigo girl, chasing a colorful world. my smile could make the Flowers bloom
but a storm came,
ripped my sunshine away, my big brother was dead, left me feeling like the colors died with him that day
Black and white silence, I prayed for guidance
a man darkness behind his eyes
Mirrored the hollowness, a truth that disguised
Thought I could understand, by sinking in the same sea
But the current pulled me under, a prisoner I'd be
Years bled together, a blur of forgotten hues
Lost in the fog, numb, nothing seemed to amuse
The highs, a facade, a hollow escape from the real
Leaving me searching for any color I could feel.
I had a dream it felt so real, I woke up and heard a whisper, shattering the haze I knew
"Why can't you stop mom?" The echo of a question I had once asked my brother too
Tears fell like rain, washing away years of disguise
The path I had chosen, reflected in my sons saddened eyes
Yellows faded, a world draped in shade-less hues
Lost in the maze, of trying to understand you..
Love for Leo, a flicker in the storm
but the whispers of addiction, left me feeling so torn look son phora said it best when he said: you only know part of me, you don't know my secrets
, you don't know my pain cause I've always tried to keep it, so far away from you, so you could never judge me
'Cause if you did, you probably wouldn't love me [damn]
so Deeper I sunk, on the wings of despair right when i felt my last bit of air i was ok to give up. I was gonna die and i was alright wit that until i heard my son in my head he cried "mommy get up" my son appeared in my view "You're still yellow, Mommy," and that's when I knew, I would fight anyone or anything that stands between me and you!! "youre still yellow, mommy".. the words that would forever breathe life back into my soul,
my fight to survive for him became my only goal
that moment, a sliver of light returned
my sons love, the compass, guiding me to fight through life's wicked burns..
The path wouldn't be easy, but I wouldn't be alone
For you, my sunshine, I'd fight to reclaim my colorful throne.
Look, the worst part is we just lie to ourselves, we just dying deep inside and we get high 'cause we think it helps
but that day
The fog began to lift, the colors started to bleed [Look momma]
My heart, a fresh palette, ready to paint the world for you and me.
