[Verse 1]
I google ways to disappear
Then slam the laptop closed
My heart is racing in my ears
Like anyone would know
I trace a line along my veins
Then hide my shaking hands
I want an exit from this ache
But I can’t stand the plans
[Chorus]
I wanna die
But I’m too scared of the fall
Of the floor
Of the red in the sink
Too scared of the faces that would never look at me the same
I wanna die
But I choke on the thought
On the pill
On the edge of the brink
Guess I’m a coward who can’t even carry my own shame
Too scared of the pain
Too scared of the pain
To say goodbye
[Verse 2]
I play pretend inside my bed
Imagine I’m not here
Then all the mess inside my head
Leaks out as quiet tears
I see their eyes if I were gone
Confused and hurt and small
I hate this life that drags me down
But I’m scared to make it fall
[Chorus]
I wanna die
But I’m too scared of the fall
Of the floor
Of the red in the sink
Too scared of the faces that would never look at me the same
I wanna die
But I choke on the thought
On the pill
On the edge of the brink
Guess I’m a coward who can’t even carry my own shame
Too scared of the pain
Too scared of the pain
To say goodbye
[Bridge]
What if I stay
And this still hurts
What if I leave
And make it worse
I hold my breath
Till my lungs burn
Then let it go
I always turn
[Chorus]
I wanna die
But I’m too scared of the fall
Of the floor
Of the red in the sink
Too scared of the faces that would never look at me the same
I wanna die
But I choke on the thought
On the pill
On the edge of the brink
Guess I’m a coward who keeps waking up to one more day
Too scared of the pain
Too scared of the pain
To say goodbye