Driller

We’re gathered for the meeting, please try to stay alert,

Let’s keep the power tools away from where it’s gonna hurt.

I know you’re eager for the task, but let’s not get too loose,

Your kneecap isn’t drywall, so there’s really no excuse.

You’re drilling down into the details, or so I’ve heard you say,

But let’s keep the 12-volt battery a dozen feet away.

Oh, don't put a bit through your elbow or your knee,

It’s a "holy" kind of mess that no one wants to see!

We aren't filming Driller Killer, this is just a desk and chair,

So keep the chuck away from skin and also from your hair.

It’s a new twist to safety protocols—it’s simple and it’s true:

Don’t drill a hole in Gary, and don’t drill a hole in you!

If you want to be a "boring" guy, then stick to wood and steel,

Because a puncture in a colleague has a very low appeal.

HR is getting nervous, they’ve seen the way you aim,

"Perforated Coworker" is a really lousy game.

So put the Ryobi on the shelf and step back from the ledge,

Before you give our medical plan a sharp and jagged edge.