Overgrown Sissy

He sneezes once, says, “This could be the end,”
Calls up his mom like she’s his only friend,
Wrapped in a blanket, moans in self-pity,
Just a grown man acting like a big sissy.

A tiny cough, now he’s flat on his back,
Says, “Bring me soup and a heating pack,”
Checks his pulse like it’s something risky,
Doctor says, “Nah, just an overgrown sissy.”

(Chorus)
Claims he’s tough, says he’s hard as stone,
One small ache and he’s callin’ home,
Every little thing turns wild and risky,
All because he’s an overgrown sissy.

He feels one cramp, thinks it’s something severe,
Googles symptoms, now he’s filled up with fear,
Scans and tests, all results looking pretty,
Diagnosis reads: “Yep—big ol’ sissy.”

Gets a small cut, needs a full first aid team,
Acts like he’s starring in a tragic scene,
Bandage and tears, acting fragile and wispy,
All that drama for a paper-cut sissy.

(Chorus)
Claims he’s tough, says he’s hard as stone,
One small ache and he’s callin’ home,
Every little thing turns wild and risky,
All because he’s an overgrown sissy.

Stubbed his toe, now he’s limping for days,
Wants sympathy poured in twenty-five ways,
Meanwhile the world ain’t slowing for pity,
No time to wait on an overgrown sissy.

Some guys say they could handle birth,
“Bring it on, I know what it’s worth,”
One small cramp and they’re woozy and dizzy,
That’s why they can’t—overgrown sissy.

(Bridge)
And when the nurse says, “You’ll be just fine,”
He asks for juice and a little more time,
Grabs her hand like he’s drifting away,
She rolls her eyes, “You’ll live through today.”

(Chorus)
Claims he’s tough, says he’s hard as stone,
One small ache and he’s callin’ home,
Every little thing turns wild and risky,
All because he’s an overgrown sissy.
Claims he’s tough, says he’s hard as stone,
One small ache and he’s callin’ home,
Every little thing turns wild and risky,
All because he’s an overgrown sissy.

Strong elements of: swing and jump-blues (horn-driven, danceable feel) 
(fun, theatrical)
Female singers