Gary’s rug

**(🎵 Beat drops 🎵)**

*(Gary the Cat struts in, tail twitchin’, eyes narrowin’)*

**Verse 1:**

Yo, I’m Gary, sleek and mean,

Fur so fresh, I’m livin’ clean.

But what’s this crap upon my floor?

A *new carpet*? Man, I’m out the door!

Scratch it up? Nah, feels too weird,

Like walkin’ on some fake deer beard.

Used to slide, now I *trip*,

Human, you just killed my drip.

**Chorus:**

*Gary hate the new carpet,*

*Gary hate the new table!*

Why you changin’ up my vibe?

Now my paws ain’t feelin’ stable!

*Gary hate the new carpet,*

*Gary glare like he able—*

To knock it all down tonight…

*You* gon’ learn, just check the label!

**Verse 2:**

And that *table*? Straight disgrace,

No more claws can leave their trace.

Smooth and cold, like human lies,

Where’s the *wood*? I *hate* surprise!

Tried to loaf, but nah, too slick,

Now I’m plottin’ like a prank addict.

Knock a cup off, watch it *smash*,

Maybe then you’ll bring the *last* one back!

**Bridge:** *(hissed whispers)*

You think I’ll adapt? *Pfft*, dream on,

This is *my* house—you just a pawn.

I’ll scream at 3 AM so loud,

‘Til that carpet’s *in the ground*!

**Outro:** *(tail flick, dramatic exit)*

So take it back, or pay the price,

Gary *don’t* play nice.

I’ll sabotage your decor scheme…

*Or*… bring treats. We’ll call it even.

**(🐾 *Paws out* 🐾)**

*(Human sighs and orders the old rug back online.)*

🔥 **#GaryVsIKEA** 🔥