Grind Through The Gravel

Staring at the ceiling

Cracks look like maps

Every line another story

Of the things I never had

Mama folding bills in the dark

Rent late, prayers loud

Fridge humming like it’s nervous

Half-empty, half-proud

Shoes by the door, soles talking

Miles in the mouths of the old

Outside, kids chase a weekend

Inside, we chase control

I used to draw mansions in margins

Desk wobble, heart sore

Teacher said “aim for the stars”

I was aiming for the store

For the discount bread

For the long bus ride

Pretending that the window

Was a way-out sky

This is pain I can’t just pray away

Got my hands in the dirt every day

Every scar, every loss I cradle

I grind through the gravel, I grind through the gravel

World on my back, but I still don’t break

Turn that weight to a step I take

Every scar, every loss I cradle

I grind through the gravel, I grind through the gravel

Talk tough but I bleed like you

Same red on the sink when the stress cuts through

Same eyes in the glass, don’t know who’s who

Is that the kid I was, or the ghost I grew?

Missed calls from my past on the lock screen blinking

Old friends sinking, new ones linking

Everybody say “change,” but they only mean “winning”

They don’t see the nights that begin with spinning

Room doing laps round my mind

Anxiety tapping on the spine

Hope on read, faith on hold

Still I lace these shoes and go

I’ve been broke in the pockets and the spirit

Had to talk to myself just to hear it

Voice in my chest saying “stand back up”

Every tear on the floor just a seed in the dust

This is pain I can’t just pray away

Got my hands in the dirt every day

Every scar, every loss I cradle

I grind through the gravel, I grind through the gravel

World on my back, but I still don’t break

Turn that weight to a step I take

Every scar, every loss I cradle

I grind through the gravel, I grind through the gravel

Who’s gonna love you when you’re empty?

Who’s gonna ride when the tank on E?

Who gonna answer when you call at three?

Sometimes it’s just the echo and the beat in your teeth

So I learn how to stand in the silence

Make peace with the bruise and the violence

Turn anger into fuel in the bloodstream

Turn “never going happen” to a must-be

I seen fathers fade like smoke

Kids grow up on a folding chair throne

Mama did double-time, triple-shift bones

Laughing so we wouldn’t feel alone

I carry that laugh like a blade and a shield

Cut through the doubt, guard what I feel

When the world says “break,” I answer “bend”

I don’t fold, I learn, I mend

Pain taught me how to read a room quick

Who clap for your wins, who hope you miss

Who love your light, who love your dim

Who drink from your cup, never learn to swim

So I move with a smaller circle

Big heart, but the trust more careful

Still walking through the storm, straight-backed, tearful

But every drop on my face make the ground more fertile (yeah)

This is pain I can’t just pray away

Got my hands in the dirt every day

Every scar, every loss I cradle

I grind through the gravel, I grind through the gravel

World on my back, but I still don’t break

Turn that weight to a step I take

Every scar, every loss I cradle

I grind through the gravel, I grind through the gravel

One step, then another

One breath, then one more

If all I ever own is this struggle

I’ll still leave richer than before