Eighteen Anyway

Everyone keeps asking

“Are you excited yet?”

Cards piled on the table

Unread

In my desk

Phone buzzes with houses

And majors I should choose

I’m staring at the ceiling

Like

What if I just lose?

I’m turning eighteen anyway

With my chipped black nails

And my half-made plans

I don’t have to know today

How the movie ends

Where the road begins

If all I’ve got is this one breath

This one cake

These cheap balloons

I’ll blow out every candle

Scared and brave

At eighteen anyway

Mom saves all my drawings

In a wooden box

Dad jokes ’bout “being grown now”

But his voice still stops

My friends post their futures

In captions

In caps

I’m smiling in the photos

But shaking in the gaps

I’m turning eighteen anyway

With my messy room

And my midnight doubts

I don’t have to know today

What to leave behind

What to live without

If all I’ve got is this small heart

And this too-tight paper crown

I’ll blow out every candle

Scared and brave

At eighteen anyway

Maybe grown-ups are just kids

Who learned to walk with all their fears

Maybe being ready

Means you’re standing here

(heart in your throat)

But you stay

I’m turning eighteen anyway

With my quiet hope

And my crowded mind

I don’t have to know today

Where I’m gonna go

Who I’m gonna find

If all I’ve got is this small room

Friends off-key

Singing my name

I’ll blow out every candle

Scared and brave

At eighteen anyway

(yeah, I’m scared and brave)

At eighteen anyway