Old Pervert, Still Perfect (Master Roshi)

Yeah… they call me washed up?

Boy, I trained legends—you just touch grass…

I’m that old dog, beard long, pipe lit with the porn stack,

Turtle shell on, shirt off, six-pack with the torn back.

Talk slick? I taught Gokú to flick gods off the map,

Before Beerus even dreamed of a snack, I was deep in that Dragon Pact.

Got hands like scrolls, sealed with ancient tact,

You punch wild—I move calm, slide through and counteract.

Peep game: I’m peak brain with freak shame,

Watching booties on the beach while still lifting whole terrain.

Yeah, I'm perv-coded, never sugarcoat it,

But I’ll fold a Sayin' while y’all power levels bloated.

You been training for decades, and still get played,

I taught Kamehameha and still fuckin' slay!

I’m the old master, no bastard could match this,

Flipping your style with a flick and a fat grin.

Look like a joke? Let that fool shit slide,

'Til I take off the specs—see the demon inside.

You TikTok tough, I’m Turtle School violent,

Roshi’s Island got more bodies than a raid on the Trident.

Drip game retro, sandals and a robe,

Still steal your bitch, then meditate while I pose.

Chi-Chi thought I was soft? Better check your tone,

I ain’t Gohan—I don’t let kids play grown.

And y’all forget I was movin’ like a god in the tourney,

Slick with the dodge, even death couldn’t burn me.

Perverted as hell, but still divine with it,

Wisdom in the punch, every line got time in it.

Put respect on the name or get laid out flat,

I’m the first true killer in a Dragon Ball hat.

I’m the old master, no bastard could match this,

Flipping your style with a flick and a fat grin.

Look like a joke? Let that fool shit slide,

'Til I take off the specs—see the demon inside.

You train in gyms, I train in solitude,

While watching ass bounce—I’m still schooling dudes.

So next time you mention legends, check the facts—

It’s Roshi, bitch, I paved your whole fuckin’ path.