Nothing Asked Me

I stood still long enough to stop expecting anything. I stayed exactly where I landed and let it be awkward. I carried the weight quietly and stopped asking it to move… I realized the weight wasn’t leaving, so I stopped waiting… I felt it sit down, and I didn’t make room or push it away, instead I took a seat beside it… asked it not to move…

When I sat down nothing changed, so I sat there long enough to forget what I thought was supposed to happen next. Instead I let the silence take the shape it wanted and didn’t interrupt it.

Time kept moving past us, and I didn’t follow it. I just sat there knowing I should allow it to keep exposing it's form. I exist in the space between me and the heaviness. The space between us stayed open, and I didn’t close it.

I stopped narrating what it meant and let it sit

unfinished.

Didn't ask it what it is, the heaviness kept its shape instead of softening.

I sat beside the heaviness

and let it stay unnamed

nothing left

nothing fixed

I stayed

I didn't worry about what was knocking… I just let the sound exist without trying to decipher its rhythm. The sound stayed outside language, and I left it there.

I refuse to trace it back to meaning or wait for it to stop.

Knock... Knock… the sound fills the space, I continually ignore its presence. I stand in its sound, unworried. I don't wait to answer or interpret it's tone.

I stayed with the knocking

and didn’t call it anything

nothing opened

nothing shifted

I stayed

The weight remained seated the knock continued… both stayed present without merging, nothing asked me to decide between them.

I stood there not forming a decision…

the moment stayed crowded without becoming urgent.

They began to overlap still I didn't draw conclusion

The weight stayed familiar, the knocking stayed external.

I didn’t give either one the authority to move me. It was then I realized I didn’t need to understand what was happening.

Nothing about this required a next step, their overlap became background instead of conflict.

I didn't even try to stop the collusion.

They kept overlapping,

and I stopped checking in on them…

The noise was still just sound…

The weight was still just space…