[Verse 1]
Checked in late
Asked for “quiet side”
Front desk smiled
Yeah
They straight‑up lied
’Cause above my head
In heavy boots
There’s an orc on duty
Pacing in a loop
Chain mail clinks
Floorboards shake
Muttering spells
On his fifth coffee break
I swear he grunts
Every time I yawn
Guess he’s guarding my sleep
’til the break of dawn (thanks, buddy)
[Chorus]
There’s an orc upstairs and a jet out front
Walls like paper
Dreams all blunt
I’m counting roars
Not counting sheep
This hotel’s way too loud to sleep
Gotta wipe the window just to see the sky
Scrub off smoke as the planes scream by
If I make it through the night somehow
I want a refund on my rest right now (right now)
[Verse 2]
Try earplugs
They wave white flags
As the orc yells “Who goes there?”
At my shopping bags
Room starts rattling
Lamp leans left
As a jumbo flies past
On final descent
Curtain smells
Like premium fuel
I write “HELP” on the glass
Like a middle‑school doodle
I cough
He coughs
Through the ceiling vents
We’re trauma‑bonded
By hotel events (roommates, basically)
[Chorus]
There’s an orc upstairs and a jet out front
Walls like paper
Dreams all blunt
I’m counting roars
Not counting sheep
This hotel’s way too loud to sleep
Gotta wipe the window just to see the sky
Scrub off smoke as the planes scream by
If I make it through the night somehow
I want a refund on my rest right now (right now)
[Bridge]
[Band drops
Half‑spoken]
I call the desk
Say “It sounds like war”
They say “That’s just the ambiance
On the fourth floor”
Orc salutes
As the runway glows
We both shrug
That’s the way it goes (goodnight, I guess)
[Chorus]
There’s an orc upstairs and a jet out front
Walls like paper
Dreams all blunt
I’m counting roars
Not counting sheep
This hotel’s way too loud to sleep
Gotta wipe the window just to see the sky
Scrub off smoke as the planes scream by
If I live to check out
I’ll write this down
“Five stars for the orc
Zero stars for sound”
SolarVibraphone660
