Holding Pattern

The same thoughts  
keep circlin’  
thoughts of worthiness  
that thing said five years  
ago, I been beggin’  
myself to let that  
shit go  
stayin’ in motion  
is a dream not  
a notion.  
tryin’ to stay on  
the path but  
I am tired of  
waitin’ to see where  
it’s goin’.  
sick of the stupid  
fucking curves  
life keeps throwin’.  
still fuckin’  
holdin’ on  
for that ‘sunny day’  
everyone.  
keeps.  
talkin’.  
about…

“this will make  
you stronger”  
that line is  
a load of bullshit.  
all this has done is  
fuckin’ take me down  
with it.  

been screamin’  
and shoutin’ hopin’  
someone will finally  
just fuckin’ listen.  
but they all have  
their own fuckin’  
lifes to live with.  
hearin’ people tellin’  
me to get out of my  
head, like if there  
is a fuckin’ bandage  
the wound hasn’t bled  
what they can’t fuckin’  
see they can’t understand  
there is a pattern  
of nefarious hands  
offerin’ fake fuckin’ help  
leavin’ this mind worse  
off than before  
and fuck that!..  
fuck that!..  
no more!

“this will make  
you stronger”  
that line is  
a load of bullshit.  
all this has done is  
fuckin’ take me down  
with it.  

“this will make  
you stronger”  
that line is  
a load of bullshit.  
all this has done is  
fuckin’ take me down  
with it.  

things keep stackin’ up  
I been boiled over  
I done had enough  
startin’ to believe y’all  
are a bit delusional  
there is no light  
at the end of this  
tunnel  

“this will make  
you stronger”  
that line is  
a load of bullshit.  
all this has done is  
fuckin’ take me down  
with it.  

when will enough be fuckin’ enough  
when will there be proof  
of such a thing called  
“love”? for too long  
been treadin’  
water while  
tryin’ not to  
get my head  
pushed under.  
needs to be mentioned  
I am beyond fuckin’  
exhausted  
I am fuckin’ sick  
from all this  

“this will make  
you stronger”  
that line is  
a load of bullshit.  
all this has done is  
fuckin’ take me down  
with it.  

all this has done is  
fuckin’ take me down  
with it.  

all this has done is  
fuckin’ take me down  
with it.

genre-indie-rap, vocals-female-grit-textured, delivery-spoken, drums-tight-minimal, bass-mid-gritty