They say I’m fake ‘cause I fight temptation
Like faith only counts if you’ve mastered salvation
But they don’t see the war inside my mind
Where angels scream and demons lie
I’ve stared down shame in a bloodstained mirror
Cried out to God when He felt nowhere near
But even when I choke in the silence and noise…
I still whisper truth with a broken voice
I still believe — even when I fall
Even when I’m bound, chained to it all
I still believe — when the night won’t end
When I break my vows and fail again
I’m not holy, but I’m His
In the storm and in the abyss
You can doubt me, hate me, leave
But through it all — I still believe
I’ve got scars I won’t show in the light
And habits that drag me into the night
I pray and relapse, rinse and repeat
Sometimes I’m on fire, sometimes in defeat
They preach perfection from padded pews
But never talk about the days you lose
And I’m tired of pretending to be clean
When I’m knee-deep in what I’ve seen
I still believe — with a shattered soul
Even if I never feel whole
I still believe — through every lie
Every time I curse the sky
I’m not worthy, but I’m known
In the filth, I’m not alone
My God sees past what you perceive
Say what you want — I still believe
I’m not your perfect poster child
I’m battle-worn, un-reconciled
But faith ain’t clean — it’s blood and dust
It’s wrestling angels ‘cause I must
(Scream)
I break! I bend! I crawl! I cry!
But I never let my faith just die!
I still believe — in the middle of war
When I’m flat on my face on the floor
I still believe — though I lose the fight
Grace hits harder than guilt at night
I’m not done. I’m not through.
I’m not clean, but I’m true.
So doubt me, shame me, leave…
But through the fire — I still believe
Even in chains… even in flames…
I still believe in Your name…
Mario_Maldonado
