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Imagine this. Your 46 years old and skin is a pastey not healthy, less than attractive Caucasian white. You never got married or had a family or established yourself as a identity of value in a local community. Friendships all fade. most other people have accomplished sometype of network of family or friends that has been built over their lifetime. But not you. Looking back on your current existence by basic social standards not one admirable trait you possess. No home, no work, not a lot of reasons come to mind when you ask Why? The main reason is you never found a like minded crew who would keep you accountable and all the ideas that were great in your confused, tormented and conditioned soul will never know where to go. Never know why your existence currently has been a waste of time

Dissapointing people eventually somehow tomorrow I'll find a way to do it again to the new people I meet. Who give the benefit of doubt probably out of charity. God only knows if it's all part of the divine. Or a self imposed agenda and my decisions are my crimes?